If it had been Blaine, Kurt would have gone on a rampage by now. He understood Blaine’s anger, even if it felt strange that it was because of events that happened to Kurt. “There’s one more thing…” Kurt started. He suddenly felt guilty that he hadn’t told Blaine yet. “I…when I had the flashback last week. I should have told you earlier. I’m sorry, Blaine”

Kurt flinched slightly at Blaine’s apology. He didn’t want sympathy. He just wanted it to all be back to normal. “Don’t” He whispered. “It’s not your fault, so please don’t.” Now just to bring up the last point. But maybe it was best if he let Blaine calm down before he threw that at him

blaine-warblanderson:

Blaine kissed Kurt again and then wiped his tears.

“And I love you Kurt Hummel. You are the best thing to ever happen to me.” he said before kissing Kurt again his time when he pulled away he laid his head on Kurt’s chest.
“Thank you for telling me. I know that must have been hard.”

“I guess I though it would seem more real if I talked about it, but it didn’t change anything. I really just want to shut that out and forget about it. But that’s not going to work, is it Blaine?” Kurt sighed, running his hand through Blaine’s hair.

“I’m sure I was thinking that you’d do whatever it took to find me. I’m sure I knew that before my memories were messed up. I don’t remember, but when I think about it all I feel like I kept telling myself I’d see you again and this wasn’t over. You didn’t lose me so don’t think about it.” Kurt held him tightly, now crying a little himself. “I love you, Blaine Anderson.”

Kurt was shocked back into reality by Blaine’s reaction. He hadn’t been in a flashback but he’d been so focused on making sure he could keep himself together that he hadn’t really cared about Blaine’s feelings. “I’m sorry. I’ll stop. It’s okay now, Blaine. I’m safe and healthy and I’m fine.” He wasn’t really sure he was ‘fine’, but his priority was making sure Blaine could handle this information. “What they did doesn’t matter” He pulled Blaine into a tight hug, now trying not to cry from reflex of seeing Blaine cry.

Kurt shook his head. It was far from all. But he had to tell Blaine two more things. One was physical torture, the other one was what messed up his memories. Blaine needed to know about the second one. “I’m sorry, I’ll stop in a minute.” He felt bad doing this to his fiancee. Right now he was causing the other boy so much pain and it wasn’t necessary. Kurt shouldn’t have brought this all up. It was less hurtful to everyone else if he kept it to himself. But two more explanations. Then he’d stop hurting Blaine. They had to get through this. “They…well, the….” It was harder to start back up after their brief time of silence. “Water spell. They used a water spell. I couldn’t move and they kept splashing my face with water for god knows how long. And I couldn’t move or see and they rarely said the spell out loud so I never knew when it was coming.”

This was more of the reaction he was expecting from Blaine, and he was wondering if the other boy assumed it would be easier. He could hear the emotion in Blaine’s voice, even though the other boy was trying his best to hide it. Maybe it was best if he didn’t talk any more about the torture, with the exception of why he was suddenly avoiding showers.

“They…mostly stuck with physical…but…” He sighed, thinking things through. The whole thing had been emotional for Kurt. It was really hard, in a way, to define the mental torture when it tied in so well with his physical abuse. “…They used the blinding spell so I couldn’t see. It would wear off sometimes, but most of the time I couldn’t see. I got used to it, but I nearly had a panic attack the first time it was cast.” This was a good starting point.

Kurt shot Blaine a surprised look as he explained he knew who did it. “What? How? Who?” The last question felt like it echoed in the room, even though it really didn’t. Kurt closed his eyes. Did he really want a name? As Blaine asked if he wanted to continue, Kurt thought about it. He knew this wouldn’t be easy, and he knew how he was. What he wanted to do was close up and never talk about this again. But Blaine needed to know. Kurt really didn’t trust himself to agree to talk about it again after this. “I’m okay” Kurt nodded before he continued.

“It was…after that I was in that….damn room for four days. I didn’t know how many days it was until I asked a nurse at St. Mungo’s, but…” He paused, not really sure where to go. “They left me alone a lot. Which was almost worse, because I never knew when they’d open the door. There was no way to escape…you saw the place, that door was the only possible way out. Especially without my wand. Finally another guy came down…he was thin but he was strong enough to break my arm when I couldn’t answer the questions. They thought I was withholding information, but I didn’t know anything.” Somehow he’d fallen into numbness, which was good right now. Numbness was nice and it made the story easier to tell.

Kurt closed his eyes and tried to imagine the face from the attack. He never really studied the death eater’s face, it hadn’t been important at the time, but he could remember a few small details “He was a similar build to your dad, because I thought it was him when I first grabbed my wand. Shorter though. He had facial hair and nice black clothes on, but the fashion was really…not good. Better things were worn in the 80s.” He hated visualizing the person who did this, even if the image was really hazy. But if he could focus on the bad clothes it made trying to identify him slightly more tolerable. “I didn’t know who he was, just that he was probably a death eater, and I didn’t see him again. He wasn’t there for my tort-” Kurt’s voice refused to get that word totally out there. He was starting to feel more emotions, but he wasn’t really upset yet.

Kurt squeezed Blaine’s hand as Blaine explained what he knew of Kurt’s attack. Next to nothing, ultimately. But Kurt could see and hear his wand hitting the floor, he remembered thinking about nothing but how he would escape. He remembered way more than he needed to explain to Blaine, because the fact that You and I by Lady Gaga had been playing was pretty unimportant.

“I was making dinner and I happened to see him. So I grabbed my wand, but I was disarmed so quickly I never had a chance to fight back. He came to grab me, I knocked the bowl of fruit on the floor without thinking. I didn’t even think it would work. I couldn’t think of anything except how it made no sense that they’d be after me and that I needed to get out of the cottage and apparate to safety.” Kurt felt his voice starting to speed up and rise in pitch. He took a deep breath before he continued. “I turned to run, but he grabbed my ankle and then I struggled away from him. He used magic to knock me out because when I opened my eyes I was in the basement.” He felt his stomach knot up as he thought about that awful place. It was easier than he’d expected to talk, but he felt embarrassed for having problems with these things. When the words came out of his own mouth it was like it was nothing. He wrestled on the floor with someone and lost. Big deal. Shouldn’t stop him from feeling safe in his kitchen.